By SARA NATHAN
New look: Cheryl Cole showed off her newly dyed red hair as she left the X Factor dress rehearsal on Friday evening
She had wept throughout a gruelling two-hour interview where she spoke for the first time about her broken marriage and her near-death experience with malaria.
And as Cheryl Cole left the TV studios after being grilled by Piers Morgan, it was obvious that the experience had taken its toll.
Curled up in the back of a car and concentrating on a phone call, the petite X Factor star looked visibly upset and close to tears again, while her mother Joan Callaghan was obviously distraught.
Renowned for her reserved nature and reticence to speak about her private life, the 27-year-old singer broke her silence for the first time since her divorce from Ashley Cole as she talked to Morgan.
Filming Morgan’s ITV1 show, Life Stories, the X Factor judge confessed that after discovering her ex-husband’s string of flings: 'I was just a very heartbroken girl.'
Despite this, Mrs Cole said she would always love him as she admitted she was at a loss to explain why the relationship had collapsed.
The star revealed that she still regularly speaks to Cole despite his frequent infidelity during their three-and-a-half year marriage.
Confessions: A visibly upset Cheryl leaving the ITV studios on Thursday after filming an emotional interview with Piers Morgan
The singer, whose divorce was finalised last month, sobbed as said she still believed he was ‘a genuinely nice guy’, adding: ‘Once we get over this obstacle, I hope we can be friends again. A part of me will always love Ashley.’
She explained: 'Looking back on it, I feel numb. We had a great marriage and a fantastic wedding day but I don't know where it went wrong.
'To this day I still question that.'
‘Once we get through all the obstacles I hope we can be friends."
And she refused to say whether dancer Derek Hough was her new love, even though he recorded a gushing message shown during recording.
Red alert: As the face of L'Oreal, Cheryl has plenty of free hair dye to hand
She said coyly: ‘I am not confirming or denying anything.
‘People can think he's my boyfriend, people can think he's my best friend.’
As the Daily Mail revealed yesterday, Mrs Cole also revealed that she wrote a will after doctors told her she was on the brink of death with malaria.
The star said she had been given just 24 hours to live as she fought the illness in hospital.
She was forced had to miss the ‘boot camp’ stage of the current series of X Factor after falling ill with malaria in July and was only fit to return to pick her finalists last month.
Mrs Cole was joined by her mother Joan Callaghan and Girls Aloud bandmates Kimberley Walsh and Nicola Roberts, who all cried during the interview as she discussed her battle against the tropical disease.
Support: Cheryl's mother Joan Callaghan watched the interview in the audience
She said doctors told her she was close to death after she contracted the illness during a trip to Tanzania.
She admitted drinking three vodkas the night before a photoshoot which left her feeling like she had ‘the worst hangover’.
It turned out to be the start of her struggle with the illness.
In the interview, she admitted drawing up a will and considering how to divide up her possessions among friends and family.
She told Morgan: ‘I thought I was going to die, I actually thought I was going to die. I thought if I’m going to die I want to die soon because I was in so much pain’.
Host: Piers Morgan asked Cheryl about various aspects of her personal life
A source on the programme said: ‘She was given 24 hours to survive and told if her condition did not improve she would die.’
Mrs Cole, who earned £1.2million for the last series of The X Factor, also
discussed her relationship with Simon Cowell, adding: ‘I have a connection with him like no one else.
‘He is one of the most important people in my life. He just gets me.’
However she confessed she missed being a ‘regular’ girl.
‘Sometimes I feel completely trapped,’ she said. ‘I just can’t go back to Newcastle and put on tracksuit bottoms and Ugg boots.’
The Newcastle-born singer spoke about the recent backlash against her decision not to put Gamu Nhengu through to the X Factor live shows, insisting she'd made the right choices with Katie Waissel and Cher Lloyd.
But she said she was sorry that Gamu was facing deportation to Zimbabwe.
Meanwhile, Mrs Cole debuted her new red hairstyle as she left the X Factor studios following a dress rehearsal on Friday night.
The full interview will be screened on ITV1 on October 23.
source :dailymail
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